The Importance of Friendship and Lifelong Friends

My daughter and I drove to the Atlanta Airport one morning to collect her bestie from back home. We moved to the suburbs of Atlanta six years ago, but Cincinnati will always be back home. She’s staying with us for a few days, something my daughter has been excited about for weeks. This friendship is the longest and one of the most important in her life.

They’ve known each other since they were three years old when they met in the shallow end of the pool the summer before preschool. We had recently moved back from the year we spent in Italy and Kate was reeling from a tumultuous season of change. We were anticipating many mornings of tearful separations ahead.

After a summer of playdates, days at the pool, and countless trips to the square for ice cream, Ella had become Kate’s closest friend. And while they were scheduled to be in the same preschool class, Kate was still full of weepy anxiety about heading off to school “alone.”

Adjacent to their preschool classroom, there was a little play area where the kids could play before class began. I was reassuring Kate that she’d be okay, that I’d be back in a few hours. Ella came over to check on her friend. When she realized that Kate was scared to go in alone, she promised to hold her hand and stay with her.  

A good friend will hold your hand through the tough times.

Starting that day and for many days after, Ella showed up every morning with her little hand outstretched for Kate’s, who held it fiercely. This was more than just a friendship. It was a lifeline.

After preschool, they headed off to kindergarten and then to elementary. There was never again a moment when Kate struggled to let go and head into class, by then she had a wide group of friends and had built up her confidence. A foundation that was surely strengthened by the steady hand of a friend.  

Eventually we moved away. And it was hard.

It’s difficult to maintain relationships at a distance, but this friendship was destined to be different. They had built something in those early days… a bond that has stretched across all these miles and all these years.

Kate and Ella will be 18 this fall and despite the distance, the years, the time… they fall into an easy rhythm. They still talk nonstop, they laugh, and occasionally they still squeal. And I can’t help but think about them all those years ago, so newish to life and friendship.

But really, friendship at three isn’t all that different from friendship at 17 or even into adulthood. What we need is our people to show up— maybe we need a shoulder, maybe we need a hug, maybe we need a few days together, but in the end, when we need a hand, the people who reach out, are the often the ones that stick.